A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime

Toxic people are all around us. It’s time to let them go.

It has been explained that “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their wake is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”

We all come to a moment in life when we realize that it’s time to cut ties with someone that we once loved. It can come down to a realization that the person isn’t so great, or it can simply come down to a change in direction. Sometimes, though, we realize that someone in our lives is just downright toxic. While everyone has a rough patch here and there, the relationships in our lives — be they romantic, friendly, or otherwise — should add to it in positive and meaningful ways.

Not all of them are, though, and despite our best efforts, we will occasionally find ourselves entangled with someone who takes from our experience more than they add to it. These people are dangerous to our inner peace and they’re destructive to our self-esteem. The most dangerous thing about them, though, is that they can often lurk in our closest inner circles. The true secret to growth in this life is learning how to identify them and detach them from our journey to happiness.

Moving on is easier said than done, but it’s necessary to cultivate the change in our lives we need to grow. Accepting your worth will make it easier to walk away from toxic people. Even when people are bad to us, it can hurt us deeply to remove them from our lives. Just because someone has been bad for you doesn’t mean you don’t love them or care for them. There is only one personal truth in this life that matters, and that is you have to learn to love yourself.

Sometimes, choosing health and wholeness means cutting out the people who are cancerous to our growth. it’s imperative to our survival and happiness. Growth means a lot of things, but it also means walking away from the things that no longer suit us. It can be done with a door wide open or a door locked shut. It’s all a game of grace and boundaries and it’s one that can only be decided by us.

It is only we who determine the conditions which we will or will not tolerate. If someone treats us poorly, it is because we have allowed them to. Pursue the things that make you feel like a better person and you’ll unlock the power of loving yourself.

Walking away from toxicity isn’t easy but it is always brave and it is always right. Letting go may even come with heartbreak; however, it is these feelings that teach us the most about ourselves and what we want. There are not always two sides to a story. Sometimes, there is only one. Know your story and make yourself the hero of it by accepting nothing less than the treatment you deserve in this life. No relationship is worth destroying and diminishing the light that shines within us.  In the immortal words of an old friend's voicemail, “I am trying to make some changes in my life. If I don’t return your call, you are one of them.”