Even in relationships when people are doing everything they know-how, good people sometimes can’t stay together forever. Often it's necessary to say goodbye. No one ever enters a new relationship thinking it will end, but this past year has been different as we all began an intimate bond with quarantine. After being in the relationship for a while, we started to get comfortable with our new partner. Off came the high heels and makeup, only to be replaced by cozy slippers and Netflix. But now that we are starting to grow apart, what exactly will the breakup look like? I, for one, am expecting plenty of tears, Ben and Jerry’s, and Taylor Swift.
Cities are reopening. Lockdowns are lifting. Now with the notice of returning to work, I am willing myself out of my sweatpants and back into a bra, while commiserating on how hard life was before. I’m asking myself, why does my heart hurt so much? Even when I know the relationship isn’t healthy or good for us, “It’s not you, it’s me,” when the relationship stops serving both partners, it’s the right thing to do. Nothing lasts forever, but how do we cope with the emotional fallout?
For people who have not been sick, lost a loved one, or lost a job as the result of the pandemic, life has forced us to pivot in more subtle ways. While shelter-in-place came with its own set of stressors, there was also a certain comfort that came from being cocooned with daily routines limited to only a few permissible activities. It provided a chance to do nothing without feelings of guilt or shame. No longer did I have to set an alarm clock for my morning routine. I could simply allow my body to naturally wake up when it was ready, and I always wondered what I would look like without dark circles under my eyes.
In this relationship, I gave myself the permission to be present in the moment and decide what was best for me, my body, and my mental wellbeing. The transition to a simple life had lots of rooms for leisure, connection, and activities that recharged them and brought many people back to activities and people they truly care about. Quarantine forced us to embrace the simpler things in life that oftentimes get overlooked because of the fast pace of life. However, as the pandemic winds down, I’m not ready to let go of the changed American attitude towards personal growth. For me, it’s a question of quality of life.
The pandemic was the great accelerant, and everyone had a different story. While I certainly understand that COVID took too many lives, it saved mine. The pandemic made me realize how important it is to take advantage of the opportunities and the time you have when these things are possible. Coronavirus has been a good test of loyalty, trust, and commitment, which could mean the world or break our hearts. In other words, COVID either confirmed what we already knew, or it gave us the truth we never saw before the pandemic. Nonetheless, the pandemic has changed me and there are some things about quarantine life that are worth preserving. I find myself questioning the very fundamentals of the “normal” we’d all come to unthinkingly accept — and realizing I don’t want to go back, not to that.
Breaking up is part of life’s cycle, but I plan on remaining friends. Even in a post-lockdown world, we can be offered a rare opportunity to reflect on our lives and, potentially, to reset them. My story is a little different — I’m not just breaking up with the pandemic, but with South Carolina, too. Born here, my favorite memories are those of driving to see my extended family for the summer. I connected with the warmer weather, the fresh vegetable gardens, the backyard swings, lazy storytelling, and Duke’s mayonnaise. There was a calm around my grandparents that I never experienced at home. I felt peace, centered, and who I was born to be. Ironically, I have gained some of my closest friends during the pandemic. People who are like-minded, understand Southern culture and still hold true to the fact that God and manners still matter.
Several weeks into the relationship I should have reminded myself that this should have only been a one-time thing. Then our lives get entangled, and now I can’t imagine my life without it. The sense of lives being perfectly intertwined is a tragic uncoupling. While I am finding myself feeling especially anxious about the breakup, it doesn't necessarily mean this new lifestyle has to end, too. I only need to find new ways to pivot. Let's be honest. It's not as if the ending has come as a shock; it was like a summer teenage romance. However, ending the relationship still hurts. We grew physically and mentally compatible so organically. Sharing a bond, we will never share with someone else again.
Perhaps this is what being freed from imprisonment feels like. If so, I understand now why there are so many repeat offenders. At least I'm comforted knowing there will be plenty of time to harmonize with Taylor about heartbreak in the car while I’m stuck in traffic. Breaking up is hard to do.
Beer Battered Baja Fish Tacos
INGREDIENTS
For the Pico de Gallo
- 2 medium tomatoes, seeded and finely chopped
- 1 small red onion, peeled and finely chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- ½ English cucumber, peeled and chopped
- ½ cup roughly chopped cilantro
- 1 jalapeño, halved lengthwise, seeded and chopped
- 2 small tomatillos, chopped (optional)
- ½ lime squeezed
For the Chipotle Sauce
- ¼ cup Duke's mayonnaise
- ½ cup sour cream
- Kosher salt
- Freshly ground black pepper
- 1-2 tablespoon canned chipotle pepper, finely chopped
For the Fish Tacos
- 1-1/2 pounds skinless cod, cut into 1-inch wide x 4-inch long strips
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
- 1 cup beer
- Vegetable oil, for frying
- 12 ( 6-inch) soft tortillas, warmed
- Lime wedges and shredded cabbage, for serving
INSTRUCTIONS
- In a medium bowl, combine the tomatoes, onion, garlic, cucumber, cilantro, and jalapeño, set aside.
- In a small food processor, blend the Duke's mayonnaise, sour cream, and chipotle peppers until combined. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
- Mix the flour, salt, and pepper together in a medium bowl. Gradually add the beer, whisking until the batter is smooth with no lumps. Set aside.
- In a medium skillet, over medium heat, add enough oil to reach a depth of 1/2-inch. Heat the oil until a deep-fry thermometer registers 350 degrees F, or when the end of a wooden spoon sizzles when dipped into the oil.
- Cut fish into 1-inch wide x 4-inch long strips.
- Working in batches so as not to crowd the pan, dip the fish strips in the beer batter and coat on both sides. Let the excess batter drip off, then fry the fish in the hot oil until golden brown and cooked through, about 2 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towels to drain.
- Meanwhile, lightly grease a skillet with a drizzle of oil and set over medium heat. Heat the tortillas, one or two at a time, until they are soft and hot. Keep them warm, wrapped in a dishtowel.
- Fill each tortilla with 3 pieces of fish, browned side up, followed by tomato salsa and a pinch of cabbage. Drizzle with the cream sauce. Serve 2 to 3 tacos per person, with lime wedges and hot sauce on the side.
*Note if using prepared Pico de Gallo this will take place of the chopped tomatoes. Add ¾ of a cup of Pico de Gallo to other ingredients and mix as instructed. For the sauce, if you want to make it extra spicy, use an entire 7-ounce can.
