I started this blog shortly after the global pandemic halted my life as I knew it. Food seemed to be a commonality that we all share, and like everyone else, cooking, eating, and watching the news became my only activities. As a writer, I wanted to unite people who may have felt lonely and isolated when their world stopped. I hoped to connect with like-minded people who were tired of what they were seeing and hearing through the mouths of others. My attention shifted from some stranger telling me who I was, to writing the story of who I am. In my opinion, trying to put kind back in humankind is a much better life decision than ripping each other apart due to differences.
I am not a trained chef. Hell, I’m not even the best cook on my street. So occasionally I will have someone make a nasty comment that makes me pause and think if this is all worth it. Social media warrants attractive photos, of which I am also painfully unqualified to take, so, between the food and the food photos, lots of people have opinions about whether or not I should be sharing at all.
As I was making dinner tonight, R.E.M.’s song 'Can’t Get There From Here' popped up on my playlist. The lyrics seemed to take on a whole new meaning than it did for me in the 80s.
"When the world is a monster
Bad to swallow you whole,
Kick the clay that holds the teeth in
Throw your trolls out the door."
Why do trolls bother us so much? Probably because they live under a rock of anonymity. Trolling has become a sport for bitter people. Growing up in the South, one of the first lessons you learn from your mama is, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. It’s the golden rule, and in my opinion, it is time to bring it back. This story may not be a good idea. Not for society and certainly not for me. Because what trolls feed on is attention. And this little opening of a conversation is like leaving a trail of vulnerability for those wolves to rip me to shreds.
It would be smarter to be cautious because the Internet’s personality has changed. Once it was a geek with lofty ideals about the free flow of information, but now if there's even a hint you’re struggling with depression, it will try to goad you into killing yourself. Psychologists call this the online disinhibition effect, in which factors like anonymity, invisibility, a lack of authority, and not communicating in real-time, strip away the mores society spent a millennia building. And it’s seeping from our smartphones into every aspect of our lives.
The people who relish in this online freedom are called trolls, just like the monsters who hide in darkness and threaten people in fairytales. Internet trolls have a manifesto of sorts, which states they are doing it for the laughs. What trolls do ranges from pranks to harassment to violent threats. When victims do not experience the joke in the same way, trolls tell them they have no sense of humor. Trolls are turning social media and comment boards into a giant locker room in a teen movie, with towel-snapping, racial epithets, and misogyny. And they’ve been steadily upping their game.
In this new culture war, even when you have the best intentions with your messaging, sometimes it can attract an unexpected audience. Social media tools are only that — tools. The real energy, spirit, and power of social media are the people. There is strength in kindness. From the beginning of this journey, I've said everyone is welcome at my table, but my home is also a safe space. And if you are a troll, you'll never find the way. Just like the song suggests, you can’t get there from here.
Hungarian Mushroom Soup
This recipe was gifted to me by a neighbor over thirty years ago when I was living abroad. Every time I make it, it reminds me of her kindness and the motherly love she showed so many of us. I have doubled the original recipe because trust me when I say, you will always want to have more.
INGREDIENTS
- 8 tbsp Butter
- 2 yellow onions, chopped (at least 3 cups)
- 1 ½-2 lb mushrooms, sliced (preferably cremini, shiitake, or baby portabellas)
- 4 cups chicken or vegetable stock
- 1 cup dry white wine
- 3 tsp dried or fresh dill, chopped
- 3 tsp fresh thyme leaves
- 3 tsp Hungarian sweet paprika (1/2 paprika/1/2 smoked paprika will also work if you cannot find)
- 1/2 tsp fresh cracked black pepper
- 4 tbsp Soy sauce
- 1 ½ cups half and half (or whole milk)
- 5 tbsp flour
- ½ cup crème Fraiche or sour cream (full fat)
- Juice of one whole large lemon
- Additional Crème Fraîche and fresh thyme for garnishing
INSTRUCTIONS
- In a heavy pot or dutch oven slowly sauté the onions and mushrooms in butter over medium heat until onions are soft and translucent, about 15 minutes. You do not want to rush this part.
- Add dill, thyme, paprika, pepper, chicken or vegetable stock, soy sauce, and white wine. Bring to a simmer and cook for an additional 15-20 minutes.
- In a small saucepan, heat the half and half on low heat until just warmed through. Do not boil. Slowly whisk in the flour until smooth. Add the mixture to the soup and cook until the soup begins to thicken about 10 more minutes.
- Over low heat, slowly stir in the crème Fraiche and lemon juice until both are completely combined. Garnish the soup with crème Fraiche, fresh thyme and a lemon wedge. Serve hot.
