Most of us have encountered schoolyard bullies, workplace tormentors, and social media trolls. What’s more insidious is manipulating and exploiting people by playing individuals against each other and saying different things behind their backs. Sometimes, you never notice their effect unless you’re the one being targeted.
In personality psychology, this behavior is known as Machiavellianism, characterized by a lack of morality and a focus on self-interest. You can likely think of someone who fits this description. These individuals are often called pot-stirrers in the South (we have difficulty saying big words like Machiavellianism) to describe those who deliberately cause drama and conflict. Pot stirrers are like "chefs” using tools such as deceit and betrayal to create recipes for disaster. They thrive off of preying on others they see as competition.
Unfortunately, most of us know a few “short-order cooks” who love instigating problems, arguments, rumors, and gossip. Then there are the “head chefs,” who live for and thrive on drama's theatrics for entertainment-only purposes. Some of you reading may even play that role, and if so, I urge you to hang up your apron and leave the kitchen. As innocent patrons, it's important for us to recognize the harm this behavior causes and distance ourselves from it.
I had a friend who constantly stirred the pot, fracturing relationships between friends and leading to devastating results. While she may have appeared helpful at times, her meddling ultimately led to her being abandoned by good people who were tired of her manipulation. Even those who continue to associate with her likely do not trust her. Looking back, I can only say, "Bravo on your ability to create drama out of nothing." Your actions made high school feel like being a contestant on Hell's Kitchen.
People who stir the pot need an audience, so as an active listener, you become their “sous chef.” While you may not be the one stirring, you are figuratively being spoonfed what they're serving. If you’re not part of the solution, own that you’re part of the problem. Chances are, if they are comfortable talking to you about others, there’s a good chance they are talking about you to others, too. Gossip is full of gas; it just takes a spark to ignite the flame. Don't be afraid to turn off the pilot light and walk away.
For those who enjoy stirring the pot, it's important to remember that you may end up getting burned. And for everyone else, don't let the pot-stirrers in your life get you hot. Don't be fooled by their actions. Every ingredient in a dish is essential, but that doesn't mean we have to ingest what is being served. Why use poor ingredients that can lead to moral malnutrition? It's time to trade in the old saying, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen," for a new one – If you like to stir garbage into the pot, you should be required to lick the spoon.
Creamy White Chicken Enchiladas
INGREDIENTS
For the Chicken
- 1 pound chicken breasts, flattened
- 3 cloves garlic
- 1 medium onion, roughly chopped
- ¼ cup fresh cilantro, roughly chopped, plus more for topping
- 2 teaspoons cumin
- 2 teaspoons oregano
- ¼ teaspoon black pepper
- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
- 8-10 small flour tortillas
- 3½ cups (12 ounces) shredded Monterey jack cheese, divided (do not use pre-shredded cheese)
For the Sauce
- 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 3 tablespoons flour
- 2 cups chicken broth
- 1 cup sour cream
- 1 (4-ounce) can diced green chilies
INSTRUCTIONS
For the Chicken
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Spray a 9x13-inch baking dish with cooking spray and set aside. Preheat oven to 350ºF (177ºC).
- Combine garlic, onion, cilantro, cumin, oregano, salt, pepper, and olive oil in a food processor. Pulse until well blended.
- Place the breasts between two sheets of plastic wrap or parchment paper on a cutting board to flatten a chicken. Use the flat side of a meat mallet or rolling pin to gently pound the chicken until it reaches a uniform thickness (about 1/4 inch thick), working from the thickest part of the breasts outward.
- Place chicken on broiler pan and season with salt. Spread with the garlic-onion mixture. Broil for 7-8 minutes per side or until cooked; set aside until cool enough to shred.
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Combine chicken and 1½ cups of Monterey Jack cheese in a small bowl. Fill tortillas (8-10) with this mixture and roll each one up, then place seam side down in the prepared pan.
For the Sauce
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Melt the butter in a skillet. Sprinkle flour over melted butter and whisk to combine. Cook for 1-2 minutes to remove the flour taste.
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Remove the skillet from heat and whisk in broth. Place back on the heat and cook until the mixture has thickened and is bubbly. Let the sauce cool for 3-5 minutes. Add sour cream and green chilies. Stir until the sauce is smooth and the sour cream is completely dissolved.
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Pour sauce over enchiladas and add the remaining 2½ cups of cheese over top. Bake in the preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until the enchiladas are heated through and the Pauce is bubbly. Turn on the broiler and broil until the top is nicely golden.
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Top with chopped lettuce, pico de gallo, and fresh guacamole.
