In my experience, it is much harder to love yourself than it is to love others.
Many of the negative things I tell myself I would never say out loud or to someone else. I say them quietly in my head so no one hears them. But words hurt, even as a whisper.
I don't judge, resent, or insult others, but I do those things to myself. I am kind, loving, and forgiving, yet I struggle to extend that same grace back to myself.
As I get older, I realize that I need to be my own best friend. I’ve learned that the one person who will never let you down in life is yourself — unless, of course, you allow it.
Love yourself. It’s a simple enough concept. If you’re wondering how to love yourself, you aren’t alone. Loving yourself is important, but it’s not enough to just say words as a positive affirmation that you stuck on your mirror. You have to mean it.
I have always been one of those people hardwired to pour my kindness out into the world, but for so long, it left me depleted. I never understood why others didn’t do the same for me. Then I realized that it was time for me to lean on myself.
Admittedly, it was not easy. It’s nearly impossible to love yourself fully if you don’t accept yourself fully. Beating myself up over and over was such a big part of my everyday life.
However, the warmth we hug our friends with, the acceptance we give our family, the support we give everyone, shouldn’t be deprive when it comes to ourself.
You deserve the same amount of attention you give other people. You deserve to love yourself just as much as you love others, even if it takes double the effort.
Think of your life as a biography that you would want someone to write. Every scene, every supporting role, every page centers around you. To say you have intrinsic worth would be an understatement because you are the star of your own story.
There will always be days when your inner critic is beating you up and seemingly winning. But remind yourself in those moments that you can change the script by rewriting the narrative.
I’ve stuck with myself through so much in life, and while there have been many times I’ve wanted to, I’ve never given up. I may get knocked down, but I get up each and every time to fight another day — some days even with a smile.
Being your own biggest hype girl isn’t just about words — it’s about action. The more you show up for yourself, the more you believe in yourself.
No matter where you are in your relationship with yourself, give yourself a figurative (or literal) hug. You may have all the support in the world, or you may have just one strong pillar in your life. Whatever your world looks like, know — and trust — that you’ve got your own back.
I meet the world with an open heart again and again, and while I have an amazing group of women around me, at the end of the day, there is only one person who will always be on my side – me. I’m my girl.
Crunchy Vietnamese Chicken Salad (Gỏi Gá)
INGREDIENTS
For the Dressing
- 2 tablespoons sugar
- 2 tablespoons fish sauce
- 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
- 1 tablespoon water
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 serrano chile with seeds, minced (optional)
- Juice of a lime, plus lime wedges for serving
For the Salad
- 2 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts (or 4 cups shredded rotisserie chicken)
- ¾ cup vegetable or canola oil, for frying
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 large shallots, thinly sliced
- Kosher salt
- ½ head of medium Napa Cabbage, chopped (or 5 cups green)
- 4 scallions, sliced (both white and green parts)
- 2 carrots, cut into matchsticks
- 1 medium English cucumber, cut into matchsticks (optional)
- ½ red onion, thinly sliced
- ½ cup coarsely chopped cilantro
- 1/3 cup coarsely chopped mint
- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
- coarsely chopped unsalted roasted peanuts for garnish
INSTRUCTIONS
- Place boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a single layer in a medium saucepan. Add enough water to barely cover the chicken and 1 teaspoon kosher salt. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat to maintain a simmer, cover, and cook until just cooked through, about 15 minutes.
- In a small saucepan, heat the vegetable oil until shimmering. Add the shallots and cook over high heat, stirring constantly, until golden, 3 to 4 minutes. Drain the shallots on a paper towel, salt, and let cool.
- In a small bowl, combine the sugar, fish sauce, rice vinegar, lime juice, water, garlic, and chile if using. Stir until the sugar is dissolved. Let the dressing stand for 5 minutes.
- Cut carrots and cucumber into thin matchstick pieces in a food processor or mandolin.
- In a large bowl, toss the cabbage, scallions, red onion, cilantro, mint, carrots, and cucumber. Drizzle with the olive oil and toss to combine.
- When the chicken is ready, transfer to a clean cutting board and let cool. Shred the chicken into bite-sized pieces. Add the chicken to the salad and top with the dressing. Toss to combine. Let sit for 5 to 10 minutes for the flavors to meld. Taste and season with more lime juice as needed. Top with fried shallots.
- Serve in individual bowls garnished with chopped peanuts and lime wedges.
