Goodbye Norma Jean

Asparagus is like the fancy pants of vegetables. You may not want to include her in a casual backyard get-together, but she’s the first one you’d think of to invite to an extravagant affair. You know she will show up to your soiree ready to impress with impeccable party etiquette. But, in reality, she is hiding an embarrassing little secret that she hopes no one can sniff out. She suffers from PASUD - Post-Asparagus-Stinky-Urine Disorder. In short, she makes your pee smell funny. Eating asparagus is like going to bed with Marilyn Monroe and waking up with Norma Jean.

In Germany, the asparagus is known as the “königliche Gemüse” or “royal vegetable.” There is The European Asparagus Museum in Bavaria, Germany which is completely dedicated to the stalk. “Spargelzeit” is a massive event held every year during harvesting season. Restaurants change their menu to include multiple dishes, there are asparagus seminars, asparagus competitions, and a festival king or queen is crowned based on the ‘size of their asparagus stalk.’ Now, that’s a pageant I could watch. The museum is even home to asparagus Pop Art by Andy Warhol. I guess that would technically make her the first vegetable supermodel.

But here in the South, asparagus is still fairly unrelatable. We just don’t know what to do with it. So, I decided to strip the stalk down and give her a make-under of sorts. While she will still turn heads for her beauty, she will be wearing a cheesy t-shirt and flip-flops while doing it. My husband is German and Southern, and this dish is the best of both worlds. If asparagus is muse-worthy of Warhol, then she is certainly welcome at my table. I guess that kind of makes me Euro-pee-an, too. Funny smell and all.