Marry Me Again Blackened Pepper Chicken

Recently it seems everyone has a similar version of a Marry Me Chicken recipe, but getting someone to propose is the easy part. It’s being married and having someone proclaim they would do it all over again that takes a lot more work.

The anticipation of a text, the spark of a first kiss, the need-to-have-you-right-now sex—there's little to dislike about the beginning of a relationship. In fact, it seems the only thing not to like is the fact that the newness doesn't last forever, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Long-term relationships, whether you're married or not, can bring an element of stability and comfort to one's life. What begins as the honeymoon stage where everything feels wonderful and potential red flags are ignored, naturally progresses to the stage where your true selves are revealed, and commitment is formed. Relationships are continually evolving experiences that both parties are responsible for shaping and investing in. Along the way, however, life can seem to complicate maintaining and renewing that spark—from raising children to major or unexpected changes at work or a partner's health, it may seem like the cards are stacked against you.

Still, there's a way to have the best of both worlds—the passion of new love and the benefits of a long-term relationship whether you're married, cohabiting, or otherwise.

As you settle into a cozy groove with your significant other, it's natural to feel a little nostalgic for your relationship's initial stages. We all know that the honeymoon stage of coupling is hard to top, so it's only natural that its absence can be sorely missed as the romance matures.

One way to keep things fresh is to stay curious about your partner. When you are first getting to know someone, you're excited about all of the unknowns. Each disclosure represents a new possibility, and it feels invigorating to learn more about one another. But just because you've already learned so much of your partner's intricacies, doesn't mean there isn't more to discover. For example, you may know your partner's favorite food, but have you asked them why it is their favorite?

The best advice I can give a married couple is to continue to date one another. Novelty is key here, so it's important that you and your partner continue to seek new shared experiences, whether low-key or something more adventurous. New experiences activate the brain's reward system, flooding the brain with dopamine and norepinephrine—the same chemicals responsible for those euphoric highs of early romance.

A simple way to revive those emotions and stimulate happy chemical production is to find ways of demonstrating your care. The best part is that it doesn't have to mean a grand gesture. Leave love notes or take an extra five minutes to have a long goodbye in the morning. If you see something that reminds you of your partner, take a picture and send it to them.

Take note of the little things that they do, and let them know you appreciate them.

Practice Presence. Even long-term couples have much to learn about each other when they are mindful, rather than distracted or passive, listeners. That means putting down the smartphone or turning off the TV during conversation or suspending the urge to judge or come up with a solution to your partner's concerns. Instead, strive to focus on their experience—listen to what they're saying as much as how they're saying it and why.

Show Gratitude. Appreciating your partner for who they are as well as what they do (like taking out the trash because they know you hate doing it) creates a positive feedback loop that encourages couples to maintain the relationship.

It is such a fundamental human need to know that we are seen and valued by our people. In a long-term relationship, our partner is one of the most important people in our inner circle. When we know that what we're doing is valued by another, naturally we'll tend to do more of it. So expressing gratitude and showing appreciation for your partner is also a way to encourage more of what you enjoy about who they are and how they show up.

And the positive effects are two-fold. Not only will your partner feel seen and appreciated, but you will become increasingly more aware of all the wonderful contributions your partner brings to your life. Where gratitude flows, energy grows.

It's one thing to say, "I love you," and another thing entirely to express that in different ways every day you choose to be in your relationship. What romantic comedy films often neglect to show after the on-screen couple realizes they want to be together for the long haul are the day-to-day negotiations of navigating a union where two individuals with different life experiences, hopes, and dreams co-create a life together.

Love in action is going to look different for different people because we don't all love in the same ways. For some, love in action is cooking a meal and doing the dishes. For others, it's time spent in deeply meaningful conversation together. The key to understanding how to "do" love is focusing on getting to know the ways that you love and want to be loved and also knowing this about your partner so you can take action from there.

Remember, Love is a noun and a verb. If you want to keep love alive, then it's your responsibility not to let it die. Saying, "I do" sounds nice, but hearing, "I'd do it all over again," is so much better.