When I turned 50, I waxed romantically that I had reached the proverbial orange cone indicating the turnaround point in my life. The challenges of my first 50 years were behind me, I opined, and from that point on, I expected my life to follow a much easier, downhill course. Boy was I wrong.
I assumed I would feel some relief now that my youthful burdens had been lifted, but in contrast, my thoughts turned to all the fun I never had because of my fear of failure. Being anxious had become a self-inflicted handicap, and if flow is what makes life worth living, I was stuck in a quagmire.
"You missed out." Is there another sentence that can strike such anxiety in a person other than "We need to talk?” The Fear Of Missing Out, or FOMO in millennial-speak, goes far beyond its intended meaning when you start to look at your whole life. While FOMO may be an issue for Generation Y, when you are on the downhill journey you feel more like Generation Why? which suffers more from FOF – Fear Of Failure. Like FOMO when you're so tuned in to the 'other,' you lose your authentic sense of self. This constant fear of missing out by not trying means you are not participating as a real person in your own world.
One of the major issues I faced as a child was being raised by a narcissistic parent. I learned very early to serve other people’s needs. I was taught if you were good at something, you needed to be great. If you were great, you needed to be better. And if you weren’t the best, you should do something else. I never developed an authentic identity, so I cocooned myself in a world of mediocracy. I was living a safe helmet-wearing, knee pad, mouth guard kind of life.
I was a hopeless people-pleaser, and I had no idea what I actually liked. To the point where I felt like nothing would give me joy, nothing would be fun, and nothing would make me happy. But with help, I am learning to find my authentic self. I now understand my inborn personality traits, I recognize my natural strengths and weaknesses, and I am aware of my true likes and dislikes. I’m learning what puts my brain in flow and what I needed to do to experience pure joy.
I now appreciate the real me versus the one who put on a show to benefit other people. Very few of us feel comfortable being our true selves because we don’t see ourselves as remarkable. We don’t realize that our authenticity is the one thing that makes us unique, and our successes and failures are determined by our self-worth.
It’s been said that the definition of hell is where you meet the person you could have become, and that some people die at 25 but aren’t buried until 75. I could easily have been one of those tragedies. Life is short, but it’s not over. Growing up with a can’t do attitude, killed my desire to follow my heart, but something shifted when I finally reached that orange cone. I realized I could either continue to hold on tight to Life's handlebars or I could lift my butt off the seat, raise my arms in the air and let the wind whip through my helmetless hair.
We are all going to come to the finish line eventually whether I like it or not. While I don’t want the race to end anytime soon, I do want to cross that line with a sense of pride. And while life doesn't hand out participation trophies just for showing up, maybe I’ll be awarded a small ribbon for Most Improved. And if I should get there before you, I'll be the one holding the "WAY TO GO!" sign cheering you on.
YOLO and I'm No Chicken Greek Lemon Salad
INGREDIENTS
For the Greek Lemon Chicken
- 1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size chunks
- 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
- 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
- 1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
- 1 small shallot, chopped
- 4 cloves garlic, minced or grated
- zest and juice of 1 lemon
- 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
- 1/2 teaspoon each kosher salt, and cracked black pepper
For the Salad
- 1 large head of romaine lettuce, chopped
- 1 (14 ounces) can chickpeas, drained
- 1-pint cherry tomatoes, halved
- 1 Persian cucumber, sliced
- 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
- 2 avocados, sliced
- 1 cup whole pepperoncinis
- 4 ounces feta cheese
- Fresh herbs for topping
For the Dressing
- 1 clove garlic, grated or squeezed through a garlic press
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/4 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper
- 1 tablespoon minced fresh oregano
- 1 tablespoon minced fresh dill
- 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/4 cup full fat plain Greek yogurt
- 1/4 cup Duke’s mayonnaise
- Kosher salt and black pepper
INSTRUCTIONS
- In a bowl, combine the chicken, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, paprika, oregano, shallots, garlic, lemon juice, lemon zest, crushed red pepper flakes, salt, and pepper. Marinate for at least an hour or up to overnight in the fridge.
- If you don't want the wooden skewers to burn in the oven, soak them in warm water for about 20 minutes. Preheat oven to 450°F.
- Thread the pieces of chicken onto the skewer. If the piece is kind of long thread it twice through the skewer so it's not dangling off. Once the skewer is full, repeat with the other skewers until all the chicken is threaded.
- Place the skewers on your rack and tray, making sure they are spaced apart.
- Roast in the oven for 15 minutes, then flip over and roast for another 5 minutes. Make sure the chicken has cooked through in the center and then take it out of the oven. Keep warm.
- Make the salad. Combine all ingredients in a large salad bowl, gently tossing to combine.
- To make the vinaigrette. In a glass jar or container with a tight-fitting lid, add garlic, salt, pepper, oregano, lemon juice, oil, yogurt, and mayonnaise. Shake until all ingredients are combined. Refrigerate until ready to use. This dressing may need to be shaken or stirred before serving.
- To the salad, add the chicken, and drizzle with the vinaigrette. Once the salad has been tossed, serve immediately, serve alongside warm pita bread.
