From a young age, Southern girls learn a few key life lessons. First, graciousness is always necessary. Second, we maintain our composure in every situation. Third, beauty is important—internal and external—and consistently in that order of significance.
When I was younger, I did not meet the necessary beauty standards. I am a walking recessive gene pool. Being the middle of three girls, I received all the leftovers from my older sister, allowing my mother to regroup before my younger sister was born. They were tall, with dark hair, skin, and eyes growing up. I looked more like Little Lord Fauntleroy. Being positioned between two stunning sisters, I was frequently mistaken for a boy. When people would remark on their beauty, I would typically receive a sympathetic pat on the head and a "Well, aren't you cute?" I was consistently reminded by my mother that true beauty resided within me.
Trying to maintain popularity is difficult for everyone. I was not popular in high school and even less so in college. I’ve always thought teenage girls are like a pack of lemmings with really long hair. But wanting to be popular isn’t limited to youth. It’s especially hard in the days of social media when you feel like an outsider, silently scrolling and watching the “cool kids” from the fringes. If there’s one thing I learned from all the John Hughes films I've watched, it's that not all four-eyed, head brace-wearing geeks get the good-looking guy at the end, but it is possible for the Homecoming Queen to look like she swallowed Burger King by your 40th high school reunion if she is ugly on the inside.
Pretty is as pretty does. You may not understand this phrase if you didn’t grow up in the South sipping sweet tea and enjoying collard greens. I began wondering what being a Pageant Queen can reveal about leading a fulfilled life. People will assess you. Avoid giving them a reason. Always act like a Queen and surround yourself with similarly minded individuals. As an adult, winning a pageant is not a requirement for true beauty. Every day, you can choose to place a metaphorical crown on your head—to have faith in yourself, show up even in challenging times, question your doubts, and prevent anyone from displacing you from your throne.
When you're not in the popular crowd, you have additional time to nurture yourself and your dreams, to exist in your own realm rather than seek the validation of others, which can be addictive. Approval from others can feel like a drug — when you receive a little, you desire more and more. If you don't validate, cherish, and respect yourself, you become reliant on other people's views to determine who you are. When you place your identity in the hands of others, you will never be genuine. When you choose not to pursue popularity, you can create rather than crumble, and there is no greater accomplishment that you can reach. Where there is striving, there is dignity. It's all about you. And that's a beautiful thing.
You can decide whom to associate with. Select other genuine Queens—those who uplift you, encourage you to step onto the stage of your life, possess the bravery to point out when you’re holding back, love you despite failures, view your accomplishments as inspiration rather than competition, and simply wish to share this wonderful life experience with you. Women supporting women is truly a magnificent thing.
A genuine Southern Belle is someone who carries herself with dignity. You will observe her holding her head high while sitting up straight. As she walks, she exhibits an elegant stride that has likely been refined for hours before a mirror. Her teeth are always impeccably clean, so she can display that charming southern smile. Every aspect of a Southern Belle's appearance is deliberate, including her windswept hair, which may have required hours to perfect.
Even if it appears old-fashioned, we cherish this tradition passed down from our mothers and grandmothers and maintain a beautifully groomed appearance no matter where we are. Not merely because we take pride in our heritage, identity, and appearance, but because—from our perspective—making an effort to look your best, whether practicing yoga or shopping for groceries, is simply polite.
I believe Audrey Hepburn, perhaps the most iconic role model for all Southern Belles, possessed equal beauty on the inside as she did on the outside. To quote her, "Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside, but it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up." Your essence is everything. The person you are is significantly more valuable than what you do; nevertheless, it never hurts to present your best self while doing it. Not everyone is born a popular beauty queen, but remember, sometimes it is Miss Congeniality who walks away with the biggest title.
Old-Fashioned Chicken Stew
INGREDIENTS
- 5 strips of bacon, chopped
- 2 pounds boneless skinless chicken thighs; cut into 1 ½ pieces
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 2 celery stalks, chopped (or 1 ½ cups)
- 2 carrots, chopped (or 1 1 /2 cups)
- 4 cloves garlic minced
- 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
- ½ teaspoon dried rosemary
- ½ teaspoon dried thyme
- ½ teaspoon dried sage
- 1 teaspoon dried mustard
- 1 tablespoon white miso paste
- 1/2 cup white wine
- 1.5 pounds small red new potatoes, halved
- 3 cups chicken broth (or enough to cover potatoes)
- 2 bay leaves
- 2 sprigs fresh rosemary (optional)
- ½ cup heavy whipping cream
- ¼ cup fresh parsley, finely chopped
INSTRUCTIONS
- Cook bacon in a 5-quart Dutch oven over medium-low heat until bacon browns. Transfer bacon to a paper-towel-lined small bowl. Turn heat to medium-high.
- In small batches, and without crowding the pan, sear chicken thighs in the bacon fat. Add olive or canola oil to the pan if more fat is needed. Place seared chicken in a medium bowl. (Don’t worry if it is not cooked through).
- Reduce heat to medium and add butter, onion, celery, and carrots—season with salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, and sage. Cook until vegetables have softened (about 6-8 minutes).
- Add minced garlic and cook for 30 seconds until fragrant. Add flour to coat vegetables and cook for one minute more.
- Deglaze the pan with wine, scraping the bottom of the pan as you pour, and cook for 1 min. Stir in dried mustard, miso paste, and chicken broth.
- Add the chicken, with its juices, to the pot along with the potatoes and bay leaves. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer.
- Cover and cook on medium to medium-low heat. Cook until potatoes are softened and chicken is cooked through 15-20 mins.
- Uncover and simmer another 5-10 min until thickened. Feel free to add extra broth if you need to thin the stew to the desired consistency.
- Stir in cream, bacon (reserve a few for topping), and parsley, and cook another 1 min or until warmed through. Season with more salt and pepper if needed.
- Ladle into bowl and serve with bacon and more fresh herbs.
Tip: If you want a thicker stew, remove a cup of the broth from the pan and whisk with a tablespoon of flour. Add the slurry back to the pan.
