I'm at this weird place where I don't know if I've outgrown my friends, or if they've outgrown me. All I know is friendships are not the same. People invest more time in their social media “friends” than their actual friends. We don't have time to send that "Miss you. Thinking of you" text, but we have 30 minutes to scroll Facebook. We don't have time to go to the movies together, but we have time to binge-watch Netflix for 5 hours straight, by ourselves, while scrolling Instagram. We get so wrapped up in our successes that we forget about the ones who wiped our tears after our failures. We want to make new friends, but when we're in social settings we can't even look up from our phones long enough to make eye contact let alone a real connection. So, we hop online to replace our lifelong friends with virtual friends who require less sacrifice and commitment.
Over the weekend, I was reminded what real friendship looks like while celebrating “The Judge’s” 70th birthday. Friends drove from all over to see this one man who has put in the effort to stay connected. Guests ranged from childhood friends, college fraternity brothers, and co-workers; people who wanted to lend their support to someone who has supported them for decades. The one common theme was that people showed up to celebrate a man who has always shown up. Every Friday, he still calls his college roommate and named his new puppy “The Colonel” after his high school best friend who recently passed. And if you are one of the lucky ones, he has given you a nickname that you cherish and feel giddy when others adopt it, too.
Although there's a lot of talk about #OKBoomer, there is something to be said about the largest generation in the world. They were shaped by the Vietnam War, JFK, Woodstock, and Disco – so they’re a pretty optimistic group. We can learn a lot from “the graying of America.” The way we communicate can be so impersonal today. Has anyone in Gen Z spoken to each other in real life? If you've ever received a hand-written letter, a long-distance phone call, or an unannounced knock at the door, then you know how good it feels when someone shows up just for you.
Relationships and friendships matter, and it takes work to maintain them. I miss friendships before social media and this narcissistic culture we've created. I miss two-sided effort and support, and the wonderful feeling of genuine and unconditional love. Can we all just put down our phones, be there for each other and value human interaction again? A "like" feels good, but a hug feels so much better.
Friendships aren’t fragile, they’re flexible. With distance, sometimes friendships can change, but that doesn’t mean they dissolve. As long as you can maintain “perceived closeness,” or the emotional ties that bind and fulfill you, friendships can survive across the globe. Bonding, keeping tabs on each other, and being there when it counts are the keys to any successful friendship.
At the end of our life, we'll never say "I wish I'd spent more time on social media," but we will regret the friendships we lost along the way, and the lives we failed to touch. So put down the phone and answer the door.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Orange
Orange Who?
Orange you glad we're friends? I am.
Orange Salmon with an Asian Edamame & Cucumber Salad
INGREDIENTS
For the Salmon
- 1½-2 pound whole salmon filet
- olive oil
- salt and pepper
- assorted oranges
For the Salad
- ½ cup chopped scallion leaves
- ½ cup cilantro leaves
- 2 cups cooked edamame
- 2 cups Persian cucumber, sliced
- 1 jalapeno, seeded and diced (optional, but highly recommend)
For the Ginger Vinaigrette
- 3 clove garlic
- 2 inches of ginger peeled and diced
- ¼ cup rice wine vinegar
- 3 teaspoons soy sauce
- 1 teaspoon sesame oil
- 3 tablespoon vegetable oil
- kosher salt
INSTRUCTIONS
For the Salmon
- Heat the oven to 425°F with a rack placed in the middle. Line a roasting pan or baking sheet with parchment paper. Pat the salmon dry with a paper towel.
- Drizzle some oil over the top of the salmon — just enough to coat the salmon — and rub it over the salmon with your fingers or a pastry brush. Sprinkle the salmon generously with salt and pepper and top with orange slices.
- Place the salmon in the roasting pan, skin-side down. Transfer to the oven.
- Roasting time depends on the thickness of your salmon, as determined by the thickest part of the salmon fillet. For every half-inch of salmon, roast for 4 to 6 minutes — 4 minutes will give you salmon that is still a touch rare, and 6 minutes will thoroughly cook it.
For the Salad
- In a blender combine the vinaigrette ingredients and puree on high until smooth. Season to taste with kosher salt.
- In a large bowl, combine scallions, cilantro, edamame, cucumber, and jalapeno.
- Drizzle with vinaigrette and toss well.
- Top with additional cilantro. Generously cover salmon with salsa. Serve immediately.
