Spaghetti alla Puttanesca with Artichoke Hearts

“Your sons growing up will feel like the slowest breakup you’ve ever known.” This quote by Mia Freedman recently knocked me to my knees. Someone finally put into words how I have been feeling for the last 30 years.

She goes on to write, “…you don’t actually parent one person; you parent many, many different people who are all your children.

There’s the newborn, the baby, the toddler, the pre-schooler, the primary aged kid, the pre-teen, the adolescent, the full-blown teen, the young adult, and then the adult. They all answer to the same name. They all call you Mum. And you never ever notice the inflection point where one of those people turns into the next.

You never get to properly say goodbye to all the little people who grow up because you don’t notice the growing, the changing. Except when Facebook sends you those bloody memory reminders that invariably make me cry because it’s like showing me the face of someone I can never see again. Not in that way. Not at that age.”

Boy moms from every walk of life are connected by a singular event; we’ve all experienced the beautiful heartbreak of raising sons. Boys will grow up and grow away and ultimately “break up” with their mothers. Slowly and surely, it happens to all of us because it’s required.  Our goal is to raise great, independent men.

“A daughter’s a daugther for the rest of her life, a son is a son til he takes a wife.”

I am the middle of three girls and the only one to be a mother of all boys. For the first time, my sisters and I didn’t share the same journey. It’s been a road that’s been hard to navigate alone.

It’s all part of the gradual process of letting go, which is necessary and profound—but leaves a mother’s heart aching all the same. Despite our desire to keep them little, the sons we’re raising become men who don’t need us anymore.

But somewhere deep in our hearts, we still need the little boy who sees us as irreplaceable.

Mothers often feel a deep emotional connection to their children, particularly sons, and naturally want to protect them from harm and guide them toward success. As sons grow, they naturally seek independence and autonomy, which can create internal conflict for us.

While we know they love us, their lives no longer revolve around us.

As a mother, you are constantly trying to prepare your child for the world, but you can't control what will happen to them out in it. Heartbreak and mistakes are difficult to watch.

It has been hard watching my boys grow up. They are perfect, and I want the world to see that, too. But the hardest part of mothering is letting go. Honestly, I am scared because who am I without them?

My love for them is unconditional, and I will never feel this for anyone else. I will love them more than they will ever love me.

But I am also confident in them and what I have taught them as their mother.

I love my sons, and I’m so proud of who they are. My door will always be open when their hearts lead them home, but it doesn’t mean my heart won't break every time I walk through the front door and see their shoes gone.

There is no greater heroism than motherhood. It’s where all the best love stories begin and end.