Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch are the five ways to express and experience love called “love languages.” According to author Gary Chapman, each person has one primary and one secondary language of love. Chapman suggests that to discover another person's language, one must observe the way they express love to others and analyze what they request from their partner most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love. Better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands. But what if you have an identity crisis when committing to one linear module?
Well, some experts believe that there is a sixth omnipotent love language – food. Food incorporates all the other five languages and all five senses. And not just the four basic food groups, though I like those a lot. I mean all that food represents. It’s more than taste, calories, and sustenance. It’s what sitting down and communing with others represents – the somewhat lost art of what it means to get together with others. It is a very powerful way of creating a connection and expressing love according to human behavioralists. And as I think about myself and all life’s relationships, I have never felt more understood.
There is nothing that makes me fuller than feeding someone. Even with new friends, it immediately feels like a warm connection, a desire to know them more. We all want to be loved, valued, and accepted. It’s just how we’re wired inside, but for many, it’s a rough road to get there. “Going there” means exposing ourselves, becoming vulnerable and known. Getting to the soul of a person, around a dinner table, is the way I can show love and care about you when gifts, and sometimes words are uncomfortable. It says “I love you” without any physical touch (although I always give a hug at the end of the evening). While this type of love language is not inherently genetic, it has always been part of my DNA. Verbal and physical acts of love were rarely shown in my house as a child, and I was often left starving for affection in all the senses, and desperately wanted to show love to others.
I remember my kindergarten teacher spoke to my mother one day after school. There was a little boy in my class who was shy, overweight, and had a hard time walking to and fitting on the outdoor play equipment. I would always stay back, hold his hand, and sit with him during recess. The teacher was concerned that I was missing the necessary playtime with my friends. I’ll never forget my mother’s response, “It’s more important to Xandy that everyone has a friend. Taking care of people is what makes her happy.” It has taken a lot of hard work and therapy to balance out how I give and receive love. Dinner gatherings are a way for me to bring people together, to love on them, to listen, to nourish them, and then when the night is over, I will know that I have done my job.
When I think of my friends, the ones I want to cultivate deeper friendships with, the ones I find value in and want to get to know more, I can’t even imagine not having a meal with them. You sit, relax, engage, pour your heart out, and become authentic and vulnerable, and usually, it’s mutually pleasurable. In the south, the love language of food has a way of bringing down walls, because you’re less guarded and more trusting when sharing a meal. It’s innately a trusting act and truly shows what community is all about. I guess I am in deep because if you have ever had dinner at my table, I’m head over heels for you. And for those who have not, I cannot wait to show you some love, too.
Roasted Whole Garlic Cream Sauce with Chicken Meatballs
INGREDIENTS
For the Meatballs:
- 1 lb. ground chicken
- ¾ cups fresh breadcrumbs
- 1 egg
- 1 teaspoon oregano
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 3 Garlic Cloves minced
- ¼ cup Parmesan grated
- ½ teaspoon each salt and pepper
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
For the Sauce:
- 1 whole bulb of garlic, roasted
- ¼ cup dry white wine
- 1 cup heavy whipping cream
- ¾ cup chicken stock
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder,
- 1/2 teaspoon dry ground mustard
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
- ¼ cup flour
- ¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan
- 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
- 2 tablespoon butter
- 1 lemon squeezed, optional
INSTRUCTIONS
- Slice a whole bulb of garlic in half to expose the cloves. Place on olive oil ad drizzle with olive oil. Enclose the garlic in foil, and bake for 45-60 min in a 350F oven. Set aside until cool enough to handle.
- In a large bowl, mix together all the ingredients except ground chicken and oil. Mix well and add the ground chicken. Mix till just combined. Form the mixture into approximately 7-9 meatballs. Set aside.
- Heat two tablespoons of Olive Oil in a pan and add as many meatballs as will fit into the pan without overcrowding. You may have to do this in batches. On high heat, brown the meatballs on all sides. Remove from the pan and put aside until the sauce is complete. (Alternatively, you could cook these in the oven saving the roasted bits and oil.)
- Add white wine to the same pan and deglaze for about 2 min. Add stock, cream, salt, pepper, and dry mustard to the pan. Stir and heat for 2-3 minutes. Add flour and whisk until thoroughly combined and the sauce is smooth about 5-7 minutes.
- Stir in Parmesan cheese, whole garlic, parsley, and butter. Use the back of a wooden spoon to help mash the garlic into the sauce. Squeeze in half of the lemon if using more salt and pepper to taste.
- Add meatballs back to the dish. Serve over your favorite pasta or mashed potatoes. Top with shaved parmesan and additional parsley. Enjoy!
