Everyone needs a secure and stable home, especially children. A home should be a place where you feel physically, socially, and emotionally safe. It’s imperative for healthy development and a successful future. Your home is where you spend the most time—eating, sleeping, connecting with family, and relaxing.
I grew up in a very verbally and physically abusive environment. My mother enrolled us in every dance class and sports team available to keep us out of the home and safe. I’ve never desired to be anything other than a mother. It was a guttural drive that I’ve always had, and it was my way to break the cyclical routine of abuse.
To truly flourish, we all need a safe place to come home to physically and emotionally. Giving your family a sanctuary is an enormous gift. It allows them to go out and battle in the world and return home to recharge.
Now, more than ever, our homes have become our sanctuary—a retreat from the chaos of the outside world. Unlike our public lives, the home is our haven, which gifts us privacy and freedom. The home shapes who we are and what we believe—a reflection of our values and the investments we make in our lives. It’s a place where we learn to define ourselves.
Our families serve as our gateways to the world. They provide our first experiences with concepts like interpersonal relationships, communication, and conflict. The vital steps of our development rely heavily on the people around us during our most formative and vulnerable years.
Every child would grow up feeling secure and loved in a perfect world. They would be taught vital lessons of compassion and empathy and of treating others with kindness, and they would learn those concepts by experiencing them firsthand. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in.
Many families, some unknowingly, sow seeds of confusion and fear into the minds of their impressionable young children, which can bloom into anger, anxiety, and trauma. Talking about the toxicity of families is complicated, but it's crucial to realize that you are not alone in how you feel.
It took me decades to come to terms with the fact that my family has consistently partaken in toxic behaviors. My justification and normalization of many things often boil down to minimizing my experiences and feelings. I was expected to push my well-being aside for the sake of others. People that I still love.
Homes don’t need to be large or grand. It doesn’t matter if dishes are in the sink and clothes are mildewing in the washing machine. What matters is creating a place for play, a time to recharge, a space to experience love, and a table to nourish hearts, bodies, and minds. By ensuring that your home is safe, you can make your personal space a refuge for wellbeing. And if you are living in an unsafe space, my door is always open with a mat outside that reads, "Welcome Home."
Shaved Brussels Sprouts & Apple Salad with Crispy Chickpeas
INGREDIENTS
- 1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas, rinsed, drained and patted dry
- ¼ cup olive oil plus 1 tablespoon, divided
- 1 ½ teaspoons kosher salt, divided
- ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
- ½ cup fresh lemon juice
- 2 tablespoons whole grain mustard
- 2 tablespoons hot honey
- ½ teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
- 1-pound fresh Brussels sprouts, trimmed and shredded
- 1 Granny Smith apple, thinly sliced
- ½ cup shaved Parmesan cheese
- 2 ripe avocados, halved, seeded, peeled and sliced
INSTRUCTIONS
- Preheat oven to 425F. On a large baking dish, combine 1 tablespoon of the oil, ¾ teaspoon of the salt, and cayenne. Spread in an even layer. Roast for 20-25 minutes or until browned and crisp stirring once. Remove and cool to room temperature.
- In a large bowl whisk together lemon juice, remaining ¼ cup oil, mustard, honey, and remaining ¾ teaspoon salt, and black pepper. Add Brussels sprouts and apples and toss to coat. Set aside and let absorb for at least 15 minutes.
- Serve topped with Parmesan cheese, roasted chickpeas, and avocado slices.
