Most of us may know someone who always seems to be in a relationship, but there’s something to be admired about people who are completely comfortable being single. However, being single and being alone are not to be confused. I prefer solitude within a relationship. It’s been tricky to navigate in my marriage, and it was hard for David not to take it personally initially.
I joke with my husband that he will bring a date to my funeral. I’ve come to terms with the idea that if something happens to me, he is not the type of man who would choose to spend the rest of his life alone.
It’s not wrong to want to be in a relationship, but I’ve never been someone who had to have a partner to consider myself whole. To me, there is a significant difference between want and need.
Humans are inherently designed to attract a partner; it’s a fundamental aspect of life. We are naturally inclined to seek a mate, and this pursuit can be a beautiful experience. The planet wouldn’t populate itself otherwise. Wanting a relationship doesn’t mean you are clingy, weak, or dependent; it simply means you are human.
You do not need a partner to survive, but having someone to share your life with makes life worth surviving. Relationships in life are bonuses. Great partners challenge us, grow with us, and embrace us, but they also understand the importance of having a life of their own.
I’m an introvert who recharges through solitude. However, I also yearn for genuine human connection and intimacy. For years, I believed that finding a partner who understood my need for downtime was nearly impossible.
Relationships are a balancing act involving togetherness and separateness, “me” and “we.” Independence nurtures our individuality, while interdependence connects us.
Too much “me time” can create distance, while too little may lead to suffocation. It’s all about finding the right balance for each person’s need for autonomy and connection.
Independence and alone time may seem counterintuitive to relationships, yet true compatibility comes from finding someone who respects your needs and is willing to compromise.
This is the introvert’s dream—a strengthened relationship not despite but because of introversion. It’s a love that doesn’t complete us but rather complements us perfectly.
Learning to be alone without feeling lonely is an essential art that everyone should master. It’s neither right nor wrong. The most valuable thing in life is our connection with others. The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
You should never enter a relationship just to be in one because that is never the path to happiness. You should choose a person, not a relationship. If you’re unhappy alone, you’ll never know whether you’re in a relationship for the right reason. You’ll be with someone to avoid being alone rather than being with someone who makes your life a better place.
A partner is an addition rather than a missing piece
You’ve got to choose to be in a relationship, and you can’t do that if you think you need one; a need is never a choice.
People who are frequently in relationships tend to be romantics, and my husband is no exception. They believe in soulmates and “true love.” Dreamers enjoy the excitement of a new relationship and genuinely believe that they have found "the one" each time.
Romantics are optimistic; rather than viewing past failed relationships as a sign of something wrong, they see these experiences as opportunities to try again. Instead of dwelling on their past, they simply move forward.
Being in a relationship isn’t necessarily a loneliness life preserver, but if David grabs the line of someone who makes his life better once I’m gone, I hope he remembers that I said it was okay to hold on tight. Just maybe wait until after the funeral to send out an S.O.S. But if he should go before me, I’ve told him that my relation “ship” days have sailed. I’m perfectly content being at the helm alone.
Sheet Pan Fish Tacos with a Creamy Avocado Sauce
INGREDIENTS
For the Slaw
- 1 ½ cups shredded green cabbage
- 1 ½ cups shredded purple cabbage
- ½ red onion, thinly sliced
- ½ cup fresh cilantro, roughly chopped
- Juice of one lime
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
For the Fish
- 1 ½ pounds mahi mahi, cod, or talipia
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 teaspoons cumin
- 2 teaspoons garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- ½-1 teaspoons chipotle chili powder
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- ½ teaspoon cracked black pepper
- 8-10 flour tortillas
For the Sauce
- 2 avocados
- 2/3 cup sour cream
- 4 cloves garlic
- 1 jalapeño, seeded and chopped
- 2 limes, zested and juiced
- 1 cup cilantro
- 4 scallions, chopped
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 teaspoon cumin
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
- ¼ cup chicken stock or water (optional)
INSTRUCTIONS
For the Slaw
- Start by preparing the cabbage slaw. Add green and red cabbages, onion, and cilantro to a large bowl.
- Add the olive oil, lime juice, sea salt, and ground black pepper to the slaw and toss to combine. Set aside. The cabbage will soften as it sits, so it will be the perfect texture by the time the tacos are ready to assemble.
For the Sauce
- Add all the ingredients to a blender and pulse until smooth to prepare the avocado sauce. If you prefer a thinner sauce, you can add in stock or water, 1/4 cup at a time, and blend until it reaches your desired consistency.
- Set it aside while you prepare the fish.
For the Fish
- Preheat oven to 425F.
- Pat fish with a paper towel until dry. Drizzle with olive oil.
- Combine cumin, garlic powder, smoked paprika, chipotle chili powder, salt, and pepper in a small bowl. Rub the seasoning into both sides of the fish. Place on a parchment-lined baking dish. Cook for 12-14 minutes or until the fish begins to flake. Remove from the oven and break apart the fish into bite-sized pieces.
- Warm the tortillas according to your preferred method. I like to heat them on the stove over an open flame.
- Assemble the tacos by adding a scoop of the sauce to each tortilla, followed by the slaw and fish. Finish with a squeeze of lime juice.
- Top with more sauce, or enjoy it with fresh tortilla chips.
