Now that Thanksgiving is over, we have entered the season of Hallmark Christmas movies. You know, the scene where the main character gives up their career and life's dreams (and sometimes royal titles) to be with the one they love? And the sacrifice is always made in the name of romantic love, never for friends or family. It seems so simple, but in reality, love is a complex emotion on and off-screen, and no one hands us a script.
But can you have real, everlasting love without a true friendship? Even though experts think it’s indisputable, we often get the friendship factor all wrong. Friendship is crucial in a romantic relationship because it lays the groundwork for trust and open communication. It allows couples to enjoy spending time together and to support each other through life's challenges. Love ebbs and flows based on situational circumstances. Being friends first provides a solid foundation for true love to flourish. There is a reason our significant others are called partners. In love and life, we are in this equally together.
My parents were not friends. I don't recall outward displays of affection. Snuggling on the couch? I can’t even remember my parents being in the same room except for eating and sleeping. I was never an audience for "ewws" during parental PDA because there was no PDA. I can count the number of times I’ve seen my parents hold hands—zero. Moreover, I didn't grow up seeing my parents poke fun at each other, laugh with each other either, or have a civil conversation with each other, and the whole time, my sisters and I were taking notes—learning that not liking each other was just what people who were married did.
All these dynamics shaped my perception of adult relationships and how I behaved in them. It was the only “romantic” relationship I knew, and I replicated that model in my first marriage. I was always in constant pursuit of a bigger, better feeling of love, hoping that the feeling would get me through life’s ups and downs. Over time, we both neglected to nurture our friendship and one day, we found ourselves wondering where all the love for each other had gone.
When I married David, it was after much therapy and self-discovery. I learned how building a loving friendship with your partner creates the foundation for an enriching, fulfilling, and successful marriage. David says that romance and passion have nothing to do with friendship. Friendship is the heartbeat of great love, and his parents were excellent examples. He has taught me how to say, "I'm sorry," and the value of forgiveness. We tell each other "I love you" before bed and wake up asking, "What do YOU want to do today?" By marrying your best friend and working on remaining friends throughout the years, you can have not just an everlasting love but an ever-renewing one, too.
Friends appreciate one another, and friendship in marriage is no different. Relationships that will last forever are built on mutual respect. While love may bring you together, it's loving your best friend that will keep you together.
Southern-Style Creamed Brussel Sprouts
INGREDIENTS
For the Brussels Sprouts
- 2 pounds Brussels sprouts, stems removed and thinly sliced
- 2 large leeks, thinly sliced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 3-4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
- 8 ounces Gruyere cheese
- 1 cup grated Romano cheese, divided
- 1 cup fresh breadcrumbs (I use a food processor) or panko
- 1 tablespoon Kerrygold Garlic & Herb Butter
For the Sauce
- 5 tablespoons Kerrygold Garlic & Herb Butter
- 2 cups half & half or heavy cream
- 1 (0.5 ounces) fresh Poultry Herb Blend
- 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon coarse salt, divided
- 1 teaspoon cracked black pepper, divided
INGREDIENTS
For the Brussels Sprouts
- Preheat the oven to 350F.
- In a large Dutch oven or stock pot, heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat. Add leaks and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook for one minute.
- Add the Brussels sprouts and remaining olive oil. Cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat.
For the Sauce
- In a small saucepan, melt herbed butter over medium heat.
- Add half & half, along with poultry herb blend, and half each salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Do not boil.
- Remove herbs and add flour. Stir constantly until a thick white sauce has formed. Turn the heat off and keep warm.
- While the sauce is thickening, make the breadcrumb topping. Melt 1 tablespoon butter. Combine with breadcrumbs and half of the Romano cheese. Set aside.
- To assemble, in an 8x10 baking dish, alternate layers of 1/3 white sauce, 1/2 Brussels sprout mix, and 1/2 Gruyere cheese. Season with remaining salt and pepper. Repeat layers ending with the white sauce and half of the Romano cheese. Top with breadcrumb mix.
- Bake until sauce and cheese are bubbly, about 30 minutes. You may need to cover loosely after 15-20 min with foil to keep breadcrumbs from browning too quickly.
