Most of us don’t like to admit that we feel lonely from time to time. There are plenty of times when we may be alone—working remotely, commuting solo, or even living by ourselves. Just because we’re by ourselves doesn’t mean we feel lonely. Sometimes we thrive in this “alone time,” allowing us to do activities we enjoy on our own.
However, sometimes we can even feel alone when we’re surrounded by other people. Some of us are introverts, but at the same time, we have a herd mentality. We need connections to survive.
Humans need social connections. When we don’t have them, it’s harder for us to handle things on our own. There are some issues and problems in this world that are best dealt with as a community.
Human beings are social species that require safe and secure social surroundings to survive. Satisfying social relationships are essential for mental and physical well beings. Impaired social relationships can lead to loneliness. Since the time of dawn, loneliness is perceived as a global human phenomenon. Left untended, loneliness can have serious consequences for the mental and physical health of people.
Regardless of the source or reason, loneliness is painful, but when you battle depression you often feel alone and unworthy of connection all the time. Depression is a multi-faceted mental health condition, while loneliness is a transient emotional state.
In those moments when my situational or internal loneliness hits, I practice gratitude. When the light dims, I hibernate, and I am honest with the people that surround me. I am grateful for understanding friends, family, and co-workers. They give me time to heal and keep the invitation to connect available when I am ready. They don’t take rejection personally, which is the most supportive thing one can do when you love someone who is suffering.
For me, it’s the feeling “less than” that contributes to feelings of loneliness so I try to avoid comparing myself to others. It is only human to look at someone else and feel sad when their surface-level feelings or apparent situation seem happier than our own. When this happens, I organize my thoughts and mental energy in another way.
We all have good times as well as challenging periods in our lives—and keeping this universal truth in mind can help us feel connected. On the other hand, remember that you are unique: There is no one else on earth like you. It can be satisfying to recognize that you are doing what you can with what you have.
Engaging in small mental choices and small habitual changes over time can give you a sense of self-efficacy, esteem, and comfort with yourself. No matter what you’re dealing with, you don’t have to handle it alone.
Take it from someone who knows firsthand: Anxiety and depression are master storytellers.
They whisper that you’ll be alone in your pain forever and that there’s really no way out this time. They convince you you’re not good enough…not worthy… and just a fraud. When anxiety and depression strike, it will make no difference how smart you are or how much money you make. They attack regardless of your legion of friends or how much success you have achieved. Anxiety and depression leave you feeling leveled, cornered, despondent, and exhausted.
When a friend insisted, I secure my own “oxygen mask” before I worried about others, the notion seemed selfish and against everything I believed. I felt so ashamed I couldn’t “snap myself out” of my low spot. And yet, that friend’s advice was one of the best gifts I have ever received.
If you are feeling lonely and depressed, take the time to put on your own mask first, and just breathe. You are the author of your own life, and tomorrow still needs to be written.
The Big Easy Chicken and Andouille Jambalaya
- 2 tablespoons Chef Paul Prudhomme's Poultry Magic
- ½ teaspoon rubbed sage
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- ½ pound chopped pancetta or other smoked ham, about 2 cups
- ½ pound andouille smoked sausage, cut into ½ moons
- ¾ pound boneless chicken, cut into bite-sized pieces, about 2 cups
- 1 cup chopped onions, in all
- 1 cup chopped celery, in all
- 1 cup chopped red bell peppers, in all
- 1 tablespoon minced fresh garlic
- ½ cup tomato sauce
- 1 cup peeled and chopped fresh tomatoes
- 2½ cups chicken stock
- 1½ cups uncooked rice (preferably converted)
- Garnish with green onions
INSTRUCTIONS
- Combine the first 3 ingredients in a small bowl to make the Seasoning Mix.
- Melt the butter in a 2-quart saucepan over high heat. Add the pancetta and andouille and cook, stirring frequently, until the meat starts to brown, about 3 minutes. Add the chicken and continue cooking, stirring frequently and scraping the pan bottom well, until the chicken is browned about 3-5 minutes. Stir in the seasoning mix, ½ cup each of the onions, celery, bell peppers, and garlic.
- Continue to cook the mixture, stirring almost constantly and scraping the pan bottom as needed, until the vegetables start to get tender, about 5-8 minutes. Stir in the tomato sauce and cook, stirring often, for 1 minute. Stir in the remaining onions, celery, bell peppers, and tomatoes. Add the stock and rice. Bring to a boil then reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer until the stock is absorbed and the rice is cooked for about 20 minutes. Let sit for 5 minutes before serving. Sprinkle on chopped green onions.
