Southern women are great hostesses, raise their children “right," and seem tender and innocent. A true Southern woman is obliged, by virtue of her birthright, to always smile, be polite, and smooth over problems with good manners and a glass of sweet tea. No matter how upset, riled up, or irked we get, we just don’t ever admit to being angry. We can be, under circumstances of high provocation, “ill” or “aggravated” or “upset." But really, anger is not ladylike and it’s not fitting of the image that a Southern woman who strives for grace and beauty.
It has been said, a real Southern woman should own two things, an iced-tea pitcher and a deviled-egg plate, and the irony of good versus evil is not lost on me. While Southerners may ooze sugar from their veins, occasionally the little devil on our shoulders has been known to light a fire – usually when an injustice has occurred. Say something ugly about anything we hold near and dear, and watch the unholy unfold. It may be one of the reasons we spend so much time in church.
Southern women know their bible. You should never argue with them because they know more scripture than you do, and they can say more with the cut of their eyes than a whole debate team’s worth of speeches. Debutants have learned how to kick anyone’s ass with a simple phrase, “Bless your heart,” which they learned from their mamas in the womb.
One of my favorite lines comes from the beloved Designing Women. Charlene politely asks this Northern woman, "Where are ya'll from?" The woman rudely responds, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." Charlene, without raising her voice or altering her mannerism, responds, "Okay, where are ya'll from, bitch?" With that one word, she was able to knock that lady right off her high horse. If you think about all the great movies starring Southern women, Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy, and Gone With The Wind, what do all have in common? They star strong charming women who will steal your heart in one scene and promise to cut it out in the next – all while remaining lovable and true to their character.
Southern women are steel magnolias inside a pair of satin gloves. We may get so fired up that we drive right past the speed limit to get to a woman’s house to very politely, and sweetly, refuse a gift from someone that was being ugly. We may raise our voice just a titch, slam our car door as we leave, but we will definitely not admit to being mad. After all, daring to remain sweet is the most daring thing you can do. But if Southern woman ever tells you they are “fit to be tied” or ready to “fly off the handle," run...run fast. While we may not ever confront you directly, we may go out of our way to step on a few cracks. Remember to always be nice and polite, after all, it's your mama's back we are talking about.
Hot and Bothered but Still Sweet Salmon with Brussels Sprouts, Pancetta, and Apples
INGREDIENTS
For the Brussels sprouts
- 4 ounces cubed pancetta
- 1 pound Brussels sprouts, ends trimmed and then halved
- 1 firm apple such as Fuji or Pink Lady
- 1 tablespoon olive oil, if needed
- Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
- 1/4 cup Mike's Hot Honey
For the Salmon
- 1/2 cup Mike's Hot Honey
- 1 jalapeño pepper thinly sliced
- 4 6oz salmon filet or one large whole salmon
- ½teaspoon salt
- ½teaspoon pepper
- ½teaspoon garlic powder
- 1lemon, thinly sliced
INSTRUCTIONS
For the Brussels sprouts
- Preheat oven to 425°F.
- Arrange cubed pancetta on a baking sheet, and bake for about 10 minutes. The pancetta should be cooked through, but not yet crispy. Remove the pancetta from the baking sheet and set it aside, reserving the drippings.
- Add the Brussels sprouts to the baking sheet and toss them in the bacon drippings. Make sure they are as well-coated as possible. Use olive oil if needed. Season with salt, and pepper.
- Roast Brussels sprouts until they begin to turn brown, about 15 minutes.
- Add the cooked pancetta and sliced apples to the Brussels sprouts on the baking sheet and roast until the sprouts are tender and browned and the apple has softened a bit,, about 10-15 additional minutes.
- Toss with hot honey and serve immediately.
For the Salmon
- Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place your salmon filet on top.
- Sprinkle it with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Spoon a few tablespoons of honey on top of the salmon.
- Place the lemon slices and jalapeño slices on top. Roast at 425°F for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the salmon flakes easily with a fork.
- Before serving, drizzle a bit more honey on the salmon. Serve with an extra spritz of lemon.
