Do you remember the first time you ate a dish and thought, where have you been all my life? This was my experience with Vodka Sauce. When made right, the sauce is the delicious glue that holds pasta together. With people falling off the wagon due to gluten sensitivities over the last decade, America’s relationship with carbs is on the rocks. Basically, if you are going to eat an alternative to semolina pasta you better have a damn good sauce to cover up the bland taste or mushy texture. And for anyone who’s worried, there is not enough vodka in the sauce to call your sponsor. The first time I tried it though, I was 14. I honestly was confused whether I could order it off the menu being underage. Today I had a hankerin’ for it. I asked David if he would buy a bottle of vodka since we don’t normally keep it on hand. He said he would run to the whiskey store to pick up some.
I realized at that moment, that there were a lot of phrases he uses that no longer exist or have been replaced by new words. Life below the Mason Dixon line is so sweet, just like our tea and Coca-Cola. Southern accents over time have developed their own vocabulary. These words tend to come out with even more zest if the Southerner has been drinking bourbon. The Southern vocabulary can be confusing to outsiders, especially when a common word has a totally different meaning. Here are a few of the most perplexing Southern words that people from other places simply wouldn't understand.
First and foremost, down here, there is no Pepsi. Everything is Coke. Even Pepsi is called Coke. True Southerners don’t like going North because up there if you ask for Coke, all y’all have is freaking Pepsi. The refrigerator is called an icebox. Pants are britches, and jeans are known as levis. We carry a pocketbook, not a purse, when we go to the beauty parlor, a salon just doesn’t feel familiar. You go to see a picture, not a movie, and you watch your stories on the boob tube, not the tv. If you want to change the channel you mash the changer/clicker don’t push a button on the remote. You have a hankerin’ not a craving for food and may have experienced a hissy fit, not a meltdown when you find you are out of Duke’s, not mayonnaise. At that time you go to Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie, (location is important than just grocery store) where you grab a buggy instead of a grocery cart. And if you cannot find what you are looking for, you simply ask someone where the whatchamacallit is located and any Southerner universally understands.
Being married to a man 15 years my senior, confusion is not only regional but generational. Words like to tweet, troll, unplug, viral, tag, tablet, profile, like, handle, follow, footprint, cloud, catfish, block, swipe or woke keeps David (who knows nothing of social media), in a constant state of confusion, too. However, we can all agree delicious food is universal. Vodka may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot. And at my age, I’ve decided that I’d rather be someone’s glass of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.
Spicy Vodka Sauce
INGREDIENTS:
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 4 tablespoons butter (divided)
- 1 medium onion
- 3 cloves garlic
- ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes (or more)
- ½ cup vodka
- ¼ cup tomatoe paste
- 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1 teaspoon dried basil
- Sea salt and fresh cracked pepper
- ¼-1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
- ¾ box Rotelle pasta (you can use fusilli or penne)
- Fresh basil
- Shaved Parmesean cheese
INSTRUCTIONS:
- Place oil and 2 tablespoons butter to pan and melt over medium heat. Add chopped onion and garlic. Cook until tender 5-7 minutes.
- In a medium sauce pot, boil water and cook pasta according to package directions. Drain and set aside.
- Add red pepper and vodka to pan. Scrape browned bits from bottom for 1 minute and thoroughly mixed or reduced by half.
- Continue to add tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, dried herbs, and salt and pepper (I used 1 teaspoon of each). Cook for 7 minutes.
- Place tomato mixture into a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Return to the pan along with ¼ cup heavy whipping cream. Add more if necessary or until desired thickness.
- Combine pasta to sauce and coat evenly. Top with cheese and basil.
